How Her Swag Got “Jagged”, or something.


I won’t even attempt to begin and explain why only a minimal proportion of my posts actually criticises some aspects of the music industry. I guess the reason for this would be that there is no point in wasting time, breath or blog-space on bothering to comment on some of the music atrocities we, as intelligent humans, have to face and battle everyday. However, to this alone I shall devote today’s post.

Sometimes you see the title of a song and immediately think, “this must be a joke”. More so, when the “artist” is already a phenomenally established joke themselves. Think Rebecca Black or, this post’s triggering “artist”, Cher[yl] Lloyd.

Errr... someone wipe her face with a cloth please.

“Swagger Jagger”. What? Yeah. “Swagger Jagger”. I will waste no brainpower to think up any constructive criticism; songs like this are just stupid. Even thesaurus.com won’t provide me with a more appropriate adjective; this song is plainly, undeniably stupid. It’s like an epic fail of a cross between Cheryl Cole and Nicki Minaj. I can’t even begin to contemplate its lyrics. Even Scooter’s genial lyrics of “The Sound Above My Hair” are worthy of more contemplation… Though I suppose the “YinYang” idea also applies within the music industry: no good without the bad.

But it’s times like these when I feel like giving up on the world and jumping off a cliff or something. I suggest Cher lloyd does the same. But before she does, in order to make her realise just how venomous her crap is to the world, she needs to hear a parody of “Swagger Jagger” which, undoubtedly, she’ll have perrrleeenty of ones to choose from.

Let the parodies roll in!

LOL WHY AM I PLACING A SCOOTER VIDEO ON MY BLOG. I should go and die about…now?

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