“Wha’ Do You Take Me Foah?!” – she asks.


You know that girl, Victoria Louise Lott? You know? That pretty little pixie blonde who is responsible for that empty box of Kleenex in most teen boys’ rooms? Her? Well, admittedly, I may also have a slight case of Celebrity Girl Crush on her, too. But shh, don’t tell anyone.

Enough to turn 90% of straight girls lesbian.

Thing is, despite Pixie Lott‘s unique voice and pretty face and legs to die for and just general likableness, I do actually find myself despising her on a different level – and also wondering why am I writing a blog post about her. It’s the music she produces that make me consider stuffing cotton wool into my ears and pretending her songs sound completely different than they do. So – alright, Mama Do was a decent song; in fact at one point it even found itself on my iPod (whose contents are rather selective due to a whimsy 8GB capacity. 8GB?! All the Muse material alone takes up more than an eighth of that…). But comparing Mama Do to her latest song -whatsitcalled, What Do You Take Me For – is making me lose the will to live. Seriously.

 

A new artist comes to the scene in 2009, with a unique voice and pretty face and legs to die for and just general likableness – you find yourself nodding along to the songs and thinking “hey, I thought this was going to be worse!”. A couple of years on though, your initial hypothesis is proven right, alongside a video with the singer strutting around in black leather minidresses and hotpants and anything else under the universe considered sexy. The girl is barely out of her teens! But that’s not the problem. The problem is the song itself. Everything about it is just so…. uh, mediocre. Especially the chorus, in which Pixie sounds like she’s dying of a wheezy cough.

Oh Pixie Pixie Pixie. I was warming up to your music, even if slightly commercialised. Adieu, Pixie.

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