Leave the Spice Girls in the 90’s. Please.


On a rainy and relatively boring Saturday morning, I sometimes feel like watching FRIENDS on T4, as there is nothing of greater interest to do (not that I don’t think FRIENDS is one of the most epic comedies on the planet – it just gets a little boring after 6 years of repeated episodes…!). So anyway, straight afterwards, this show called “Koko Pop” comes on – do NOT ask me why I stayed on to watch it; it was mere curiosity! Unluckily, just as the name would suggest, it was a pop music show. Something like Top Of The Pops, but not quite as epic. In fact, nowhere near.

So this girl group comes on. And, conventional of a girl group, the fake quintet present us with some somewhat decent dancing, beautiful looks, long flowy shiny hair, skinny legs and an atrocious song. Accompanied by atrocious singing. If there is anything apart from Simon Cowell that is ruining the music industry, it’s these so-called “girlbands”. Put together by an audition, where pretty looks and the ability to dance – forget vocal skills! – determine which girls will scoop up the most money if chucked into yet another girlband.

Pussycat Dol...- no wait, these are their twins!

On their band blog, (honestly, don’t ask me why I decided to look it up >< ), one of them writes:

“We were also lucky enough to each have a massage because we were aching from dancing I’ve never felt soo VIP!! 
We are on set now for the video and it was a very early start!! Had a sausage bap which is always the best way to start the day! Make-up and hair is currently on the way and we are getting ready to do individual shots then on to the group shots which are my favourite bits!!”

Well, first of all – WHAT is with the double exclamation marks!! Alright, so it is every little girl’s dream to be a popstar without making much effort, thus this girl is clearly quite excited by the prospect of having a sausage bap before getting glammed up. *sigh*....

I am not jealous. Not even in the slightest. If I wanted to be famous, I’d get there myself, like (thankfully!) lots of people choose to do. Apologies for picking on this girlgroup in particular – which, btw are very inventively called “Parade” – most likely the result of a random name generator. It’s just that with all these pretentiously produced groups these days (Girls Aloud? Pussycat Dolls? The Saturdays? I sicken myself for even knowing all of those…) it is difficult to contain my annoyance at how low the industry has sunk. Don’t even get me started on Rebecca Black.

(And btw, If you feel like LOLing, here’s a link to one of their “live” performances… (* “live” = with a backing clip which drowns out their microphones so that they can simultaneously dance and “sing”, without sounding out of breath >< )

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